Just about 10 years and all is well!

Wow, hard to believe it's been almost TEN years since I had surgery to remove a pleomorphic adenoma from my right parotid gland. I would go through the surgery again in a heartbeat, as I believe it was a total success. I have no pains, tingling, or any long-term problems. 

The scar is ever-so-faint in front of, and down below, my right ear. If I remember to have someone photograph it this week, I'll come back and post a picture. But truly it is unremarkable. And I can honestly say no one has ever stared at it or asked questions, that's how hard it is to really see. Which is amazing given the size of the incisions they had to make in order to peel away to reach the parotid gland and tumor.

I don't have anything else much exciting to share on here, as life has been perfectly normal. Busy with our childrens' sports and activities, but it's a good busy. They are 15 and 13, which means we only have a few years left with them in the house so we are trying to savor every moment with them. Whether it's cheering them on at baseball, soccer, or track, or just running them around for high school and junior high activities, we really love every exhausting second of it. 

As I write this post, we are getting ready to head out for the semifinals of the 2021 12U PA South East Cal Ripken State Tournament. Our son's team will be playing and my husband is one of the coaches, so please wish us luck!

Hard to believe it's been 8 years

It's been 8 years since I had the surgery to remove the benign pleomorphic adenoma that was growing on my right parotid gland in my jaw. 8 years. And as I look back on this blog, I am so happy I documented my recovery to go back and remember what I went through, and to help others who may be recently diagnosed, contemplating surgery, or recovering from undergoing surgery.

8 years. And I would do it all over again if I found out I had another pleomorphic adenoma growing in my face or neck.

I honestly haven't given any thought to my jaw/neck or the surgery in a few years. I can barely see the scars - Dr. Ara Chalian did an amazing job - and I don't have any pains, tingling, or other lingering issues.

Now, I have to admit, I don't eat sour candies or food because I know that may cause a tingling in the right side of my face as it stimulates the area of the surgery. But I certainly don't miss it or think twice about it.

The area is no longer prone to pain during cold weather, as it was the first few years after surgery. And I can wear earmuffs, headphones, etc with no problems whatsoever.

If you're contemplating surgery, seek multiple opinions and talk to several surgeons. Don't rush the decision. But also don't procrastinate and risk it developing into something else or causing problems in your body. 

That's all the update I have for you. Just wanted to provide something since I just realized it will be 8 years this coming week, and I haven't updated this website in a few years.

Almost Four Years Out

In a few weeks it will be four years since I underwent parotid surgery to remove a pleomorphic adenoma. Never in my wildest dreams would I think this little blog would attract so many folks from all over the world. As I type this, my stat counter told me there were over 2,000 readers last month who stumbled upon this site, one way or another. And over the past 4 years, over 29.000 people have visited.

These stats make me pretty darn happy I created this site. And not because I see how many people this tumor affects, but because I realize how "not-alone" I really was, at a time when I felt completely abandoned in the world. When I first started writing, I came up with 3 reasons I was creating this site. Let's look back on them....

1. to have a place where I can track my progress. Yes, this has been a wonderful way for me to remember what I went through, see how far I've come, and to refer back when friends ask me questions about the surgery and recovery.
2. to share my recovery with my family and friends. Well, yes, that part is done and over with. Because I no longer have the tumor in my body, and it has not reappeared over the past 4 years, I don't believe any of my friends or family ever have a reason to come out to this site.
3. to help those who may be going through the same sort of health issue. This is where I feel the most proud of tracking my journey. I've had many readers reach out to me with questions and have asked for guidance while they are going through the same type of surgery. 

I've also heard amazing success stories from some of you. Your stories are what make this blog special. Your stories provide additional comfort to the thousands of you who are searching for answers on pleomorphic adenomas or may be preparing for an upcoming surgery to remove your parotid gland and tumors.

If any of you had a positive experience and would like to add YOUR STORY to this site, please reach out to me. I'm more than happy to include your story here, as there are more than enough sad and discouraging stories blasted all over the internet about pleomorphic adenomas and parotid surgeries gone bad. This site is a place to provide a reassuring and positive outlook on a rather frightening time in your lives. 

I hope as you read this you take away 2 things. 1 - if you are dealing with a pleomorphic adenoma or are about to undergo parotid surery, you are not alone. 2 - there are more negative websites and stories posted online than there are stars in the sky. But that doesn't mean there aren't as many positive stories out there. Mine is one of them. And I want you to remember that as you read other blogs and may become worried. 

You're not alone. You're never alone. Ask any and all questions, I'm more than happy to share what I've gone through. 

xoxox,

Kym

2 year post op for pleomorphic adenoma surgery

Today I had my 2 year follow-up with Dr. Chalian, my ENT down at HUP (the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania). Hard to believe it's been two years since the surgery where he removed the pleomorphic adenoma from my right parotid gland. I am thrilled to report it hasn't grown back and everything is healing just as it should!

I'm also happy to report that I'm able to sleep fine, turn my head fine, and do everything I could before the surgery. I am able to pinch the bottom of my right earlobe and feel the pressure, but there's still just a faint bit of tingling, like an "asleep" feeling. 

Now... A lot of the rest of this is a repeat from my last update... Some things may never change, I suppose. And I'm okay with that.

If I run my fingers down the incision scar, starting from the top of my ear, I don't feel any pain or loss of sensation until I get to the exact location of the parotid gland (where the base of my ear connects to my cheek). From that point down to the end of the incision I can feel tenderness when it's pressed. I feel nauseous when that area is touched, even very gently. My kids like to brush my hair, and if they happen to run their fingers or the brush over that area, it immediately causes me to jump and retract. But the pain goes away as soon as nothing is pressing on it.

I sometimes feel a little sensitivity to cold weather, but I just wrap up in a scarf when I go outside. Not a big deal. And there's still a sensitivity to sour foods and spicy foods - I feel a sharp sting when I chew on the right side while eating those foods. But otherwise I'm able to chew and eat with no problems.

I'll add in that back in May (20 months post op), I had 3 impacted wisdom teeth removed. The oral surgeon didn't want to risk removing the lower right tooth, as the root had clearly wrapped down and around the facial nerve. I had explained the parotid surgery, and he didn't want to take any chances trying to pry the tooth away from the facial nerve, as it had already escaped injury from this surgery. And we all know this one impacted wisdom tooth will be the only would that would cause me pain and discomfort in the future; I pray I don't regret letting it stay.

I'm also happy to report I haven't experienced any of the sweating issues around my cheek or neck from the surgery. Apparently that's a common side effect. The nurse tells me if it's going to happen, it shows up between two and five years post-op. But so far, so good!

Now I'll just report back to the ENT once a year....

*********************

I just looked back over some parts of this blog, and wanted to update on one thing that I seemed awfully depressed about when I was 2 weeks post op. I wasn't able to get great big bear hugs from my children at that time. But I'm HAPPY to say that only lasted a few days before I felt well enough to get hugs again. Great big giant, wrap-your-arms-around-me-and-squeeze type hugs. And now, 2 years post op, there's nothing I can't do with the kids. We wrestle and play around, and nothing bothers me unless something hits that lower section of the incision. And even that's not too bad. So, if you're reading this and you are sad thinking about things you may be missing out on from surgery, stay positive. There is light at the end of the tunnel! I am thrilled with my recovery, and would do this over again in a heartbeat!

17 month update

I've been a real slacker with this blog, but I wanted to update with how things have progressed for me. It's now been just about 17 months since my parotid tumor (pleomorphic adenoma) surgery, and I'm finally in a really good place, both physically and emotionally.

It was hard for a while not being able to jump back into my normal workout routine, but by last spring (about 7 months after the surgery) I was back to my normal runs (3-4 miles a few times a week), and normal weightlifting. I also started a few high intensity workout classes at our local Y and loved them. No problems whatsoever from the parotid gland, and no pain in my neck or face.

One thing I just recently realized is that I'm starting to get the feeling back in my lower right ear. I'm not sure when it started happening, but one day last week my kids were asking me about my scar and my neck, and I touched the bottom of my right ear and realized I could feel my hand. I pinched the ear lobe and could feel it too. I have full feeling around the part of the scar where it connects to my ear, and it's not even a little bit painful.

What does hurt still though is the area where my parotid gland is located - just below my ear, at the base of my jaw. It's only painful to the touch though, so I do everything I can to be sure the kids don't bump it. I also don't wear turtlenecks, as the feeling of something pushing against my neck causes some pain and nauseousness.

The incision area is still quite sensitive to the cold air, so I wear a scarf almost at all times during these chilly winter months. The scarf only bothers me when it's pushed up tight against my neck, so I've learned to wrap it lightly to keep it from causing any pain.

Food sensitivities still exist, but are not nearly as painful as before. Lemonade causes immediate shocking pain. As does anything else sour - sour candies and drinks. I like orange juice, but try to keep it on the left side of my mouth before I swallow it. Weird, but it can be done.

Thankfully I do not experience any of the neck sweating I have heard others have had after the surgery. And thankfully the scar has blended in quite well. After my ear you can't even tell... but down my neck is still red, and is very obvious to me, but most people don't even notice. Or they don't ask. Either way, I'm fine with it. I'll post a picture once my husband gets home and snaps one tonight.

3 months post-op

This poor blog has been so neglected, but I'm happy to report that at 3 months post-op, things are going well. The scar is still very noticeable, but I've grown more comfortable wearing my hair back in a ponytail. I've resumed my normal everyday life, and am back to working out on a regular schedule. I am able to turn my neck both ways pretty well, but it's still a little tight when I stretch it to the left.

My sleeping is getting much better, but it's still uncomfortable, bordering painful, to sleep on my right side. I can sometimes prop my arm under a pillow, then lean the front of my head, back to my ear, on a pillow... Leaving my ear and neck sort of floating. It's certainly not the most comfortable position, but sometimes I just need to get off my left side.

That darned stitch finally got absorbed back into my skin at about 2 months post-op. It definitely drove me nuts, so I'm glad it's not protruding anymore.

As for the rest of my life, I'm back to everything I used to do - working out, riding a bike, lifting 12 pound weights at the gym, and most importantly I am able to enjoy great big bear hugs from my children. My little guy still picks up my hair to see which side of my neck is the "cut" one, and then leans into the other side when he hugs me.

Going forward I hope to update this blog every month or so with new pictures of the healing process. I'll be back to the doctor in February and will have another MRI at that time too.

1 month post-op

It's been four weeks and a day since my parotid tumor (a pleomorphic adenoma) was removed. It sounds like a broken record when I talk about the healing process - still painful to the touch around my face and neck, bottom half of ear is still completely numb, the stitch is still sticking out at the top of the incision, and there's still a lump (about 1 inch by 1/2 inch) where the actual tumor was. See, nothing's really changed.

And yes, I'm still impatient, in case you were wondering. I still expect to wake up one day and find I've bounced back to normal. And when I do wake up and realize my neck still doesn't stretch the way I want it to, yes, I get upset.

It's hard and depressing, yet it is crazy to even feel this after just one month of surgery. Even sillier to admit, but since I'm being honest about the recovery, I feel I owe you the truth. It's definitely hard for me to accept something's changed, and that I have to slow down or just be patient while it heals. While I heal.

But in reality, I have nothing to be upset about - it's not cancer and I'm alive and well, surrounded by a super supportive group of friends and loved ones, and I'm here with my family. And speaking of family, I have two cutie pies waiting for me to read a bedtime story, so I'm going to scoot on upstairs.

3 weeks post-op

I'm 2 days late in writing this 3 week update, but I guess it's better late than never, right? This past week has definitely felt the longest, but I'm glad it's now behind me. And I suppose it can only go up from here.

I'll start off with the good - I have run two days in a row now, just about a mile each day. Today my kids rode their bikes with me, and at times I was able to stay ahead of my little guy, but never once was I able to pass my daughter. That's okay though, I'm happy just knowing I made it without stopping or slowing down.

I've been taking a Tylenol or Advil (or two) throughout the days, and usually right before bed, just to help with some of the pain. It's mostly self-induced though, as I've been pushing myself to go beyond what I did the previous day. The pain is mostly a sore neck from stretching or doing too much lifting (laundry, games with kids, etc), and I've been waking up frequently at night with pains down the side of my face.

Several times a day I sit and stretch my neck - up and down, side to side, then tilted both ways. I can turn pretty good to the left, but it's still tight. And it's definitely painful when I try to turn to the right. Not as tight, since I'm not stretching the muscles that were cut, but I think the pain is what stops me from turning it too much. While it's getting better, and yes, I do see some progress, it's not as much as I'd like to see at this point. You know me and patience.

The incision itself seems to be healing nicely; you can't even notice the part along the front of my ear. However, there's still a lump at the base of my ear, about an inch by a half inch, where the tumor was located. I'm not sure if it's still just swelling from where he removed the tumor and part of the parotid gland, or if it's a sac of salivary fluid that's drained from the opened gland. Or it could very well be a bit of both. It's pretty hard, and incredibly painful to the touch.

My upper neck is still very sore, as is my pretty much the entire right half of my jaw. It's also still swollen, which I can see, but most people say they can't even notice. Either they're just trying to be nice, or I can hide it pretty good when I wear my hair down. Again, those who know me, know I'm a pony tail type of gal, so it's hard to keep it covered. I'll try to remember to take a regular photograph from the front tomorrow, and maybe you can give me your thoughts.

Also, that darn "numbness, but not quite numbness" is still going on with the bottom half of my right ear. I guess maybe a better comparison would be to say it feels like it fell asleep. Quite annoying though, because no matter how much it itches (and it does, for hours on end sometimes), I itch it, yet I can't even feel my fingers scratching or pinching it. Many people say they grow used to this feeling, but it's driving me nuts. Every time I roll over onto a pillow, or turn my head while sitting on the couch, I wonder how one could ever learn to live with this.

Oh, and let's not forget about that stinkin' stitch that's still sticking out from the top of the incision. Speaking of driving me nuts.... it gets caught on the washcloth every time I wash my face. Annoying. Definitely annoying. I'm accepting bets as to when it may ever actually dissolve or fall off.

Aside from all of this, I've got to add a personal note here. Our family and friends have been so generous with meals, helping with the kids, and lots and lots of support, and it really means the world to us to have each of you in our lives. Even our friends across the miles (Melissa!) - I could not get through each day without your positive outlook reminding me that it will get better. Thank you.

Thank you to each and every one of you, for all that you've done. And especially thank you for all of the prayers and good thoughts. We've got the most amazing support system, and are so blessed to have you in our lives.

One step closer

I just got back from a 1 mile jog. Piece of cake for many, but a huge accomplishment for me. I've walked a mile since the surgery, but had never attempted to run. Until today. The weather is crappy, I've been in a blah mood lately, and I needed to just get out. So I put on my running shoes, and out I went.

Oh how I wish I could say it felt great. But truly, my ear ached, my neck hurt with every step, and I know I'll be whining tomorrow... Even more than usual. I have been trying to stretch my neck during the days, but nothing quite stretched it like each pounding stride, my shoulder bouncing up and down, really giving those muscles a good pull. There wasn't anything enjoyable about it, except for the fact that I overcame my fear of pain and kept at it. I refused to listen to my body telling me to "slow down and walk". And for that, I feel good.

BTW- I still owe you a 3-week update. Tonight, I promise.

Wishing on a star

***Note - you are about to read a miserable update - so continue at your own pace***

Some days I feel like crap. Some days I would rather not get out of bed. Some days I just want to scream. And some days I just want to cry.

Today is one of those days where I'd rather just curl up in bed and sob myself to sleep. Really, it would be ridiculously selfish to do such a thing, because I have so much to be happy for in my life right now. The surgery is past me, I do not have any major complications, it's not cancer, and most importantly of all - I'M ALIVE!

So why am I so sad? I can't exactly explain it, other than I miss my 'old' life.

I miss being able to sleep any which way I want at night, tossing and turning in my sleep, without being woken up by shooting pains when the right side of my face or neck hits the sheets or pillows.

I miss rolling over in bed to snuggle with my husband.

I miss how great I felt after a good workout at the gym.

I miss going for a family bike ride with my husband and kids.

I miss snuggling with my children. You know, the "right before bed" kind of snuggle, when they are really tired, and curl right up in your arms... you can run your fingers through their hair and across their face...and they wrap their little arms around your neck and just hold tight.

I know that healing takes time. I know it won't happen overnight, although I desperately pray and wish for it. I know I can hurt myself by pushing too hard, too fast. I know that it's not quite been three weeks since the surgery. I know slow and steady wins the race. I get all of that.

But, I'm me. And those who know me, know I have zero patience. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I do expect to heal by leaps and bounds so that I can get on with my life. I can't continue to sit back and watch everyone else have fun, while I have to stay behind. So when I do things that I probably shouldn't (like go to the gym or do chores around the house), please don't judge me or tell me I should be resting. Please just understand that I need to get out, and need to feel like my life is on its way to feeling 'normal' again.

For now, I am miserable and it sucks.

Odd little spasms

It's 12:15am amd I'm lying in bed, wide awake. Mind you, I've been asleep since about 9 when the kids went to bed, so it's a little bothersome to be awake right now. And let's not forget that the Phillies just ended their season, so I didn't wake up to a happy-to-see-me husband. So here's the deal...

As I'm lying here, my right cheek is going into spasms. Like little muscle or nerve spasms. I had read this happens often over the next six months, as the nerves begin healing and try to connect. I can only hope the nerve going to my ear, the one that had to be severed, fuses back together correctly. For some, it doesn't go back together. For others it fuses with a nearby sweat gland, and you sweat while chewing, causing a few drops of sweat to pour out the side of your cheek or neck; a condition known as Frey's Syndrome. And for perhaps a very lucky few, the nerve regenerates perfectly (although I truly think these people may not have had the entire nerve severed during surgery).

Who knows what my future holds. But for now, I lay here in pain while my cheek twitches away. I sure hope the nerves decide to take a break and get some rest for a few hours.

Interesting findings at the gym

Today marked another big hurdle in my race to recovery - my first trip to the gym. Now, I knew going into this workout that it would be incredibly different from all previous workouts. I knew I wouldn't be lifting any weights, or pushing the elliptical machine with my arms. No running, swimming, or push-ups. I was fine with all that. I just went for a little cardio workout, and wanted to get back to "clocking" my workouts for my insurance credit.

As I walked in the door, I quickly scanned the cardio machines to see what would work best. I immediately ruled out the bikes, treadmills and ellipticals. The only other options were the steppers and the AMT machines (Precor's Adaptive Motion Trainer). I've always had a fear of slipping on the stepper and tumbling down the 5 or 6 stairs in front of an entire gym, so today was not the day to give that one a whirl. I walked over to my favorite machine - the AMT - and signed up for half an hour. Figured I didn't want to overdo it on my first day back.

Two things I didn't realize:

1. how difficult it would be to wear earplugs (I like to watch TV while I work out... it kind of keeps me going so I forget about any exhaustion and/or pain my body is experiencing). Awkward is more like it. Not really painful in my ear, but certainly not comfortable. Awkward. 
2. my regular water bottle just won't cut it for the time being. The first time I sipped from it - ouch! This sounds awful to say, but for the surgery they had to cut into the muscles of my cheek to remove the tumor, so it's still painful whenever I use those muscles. Mostly I notice shooting pains when I chew, or try to take a big bite of a sandwich. Today I learned that I also cannot make the water come out of the water bottle without causing pain to myself. The only way around it was to take lots of mini sips to get the water. Not good when working out and one is dehydrated. Also not good when one forgets to take their blood pressure medicine in the morning, and desperately needs fluids to avoid passing out.

All in all I enjoyed a successful first day back in the gym. I did get dizzy, but it was all self-induced. So when I was done with my workout, I just stopped to sit on a bench for a few minutes. It also helped that I ran into one of my girlfriends, so we sat for a while and chatted while I waited for my blood pressure to get back to normal.

Anyone for a drive?

Today I woke and up finally felt well enough to drive. First stop - Target! Followed by Giant (since it's next door to Target), then back home to get Kenslee for lunch. After lunch we headed out to the library, then walked over to the playground so the kids could have some fun. Next up - a short hike down and around the woods.

Whew, I forgot how exhausting it is to be an "active" parent! I'm tired of not being able to participate in all of the fun things my children get to do. Glad I'm finally feeling up to some of these activities.

But... when you don't hear from me tomorrow... you'll know why! And you can find me in bed.....

Full disclosure - these trips did not require me to merge into traffic, so I think I made out okay. I mean, there were no accidents, and that's what counts, right?
It's when I finally go back into the office for work when I'll be in trouble. I will have to merge into mad rush hour traffic on route 422, and we all know how dangerous that highway is!

Also, my son did all the heavy lifting at the grocery store. He was in the cart, and helped me load and unload all of the groceries. He even carried several heavy milk jugs into the house, and helped me unpack all of the bags. Such a sweet boy.

Back to the grind

I started back to work yesterday, and it felt great! Although, by "back to work" I mean "working from home", and I only lasted five hours. But, regardless of the location, it was nice to get back into more of my old routine. What was once a normal old laptop seemed to be quite a heavy piece of technology yesterday morning when I unzipped my bag and tried to lift it with my right hand. I quickly grabbed a hold with my left hand as well, and proceeded to spend the next two hours trying to connect to the network. After numerous calls to different IT folks, I was finally granted access around 11am. What a waste of a morning!

But this brings up one point I don't think I've mentioned on here yet - how little strength I have in my right arm these days. The surgery was the right side of my face and neck, so it's only normal to expect some pain on the right side of my body. But I truly didn't expect to still be struggling so much two weeks after the surgery. I went to grab a full gallon of milk this morning from the fridge, and without thinking I grabbed it with my right hand. It no sooner slid off the shelf before I realized I was unable to hold it with just one hand. Thankfully my left hand was empty, otherwise there would have been milk all over the floor.

I made it through my second day of work today, and managed to put in 7.5 hours. The weather is beautiful here in Pennsylvania, and I'm hoping to get outside and go for a walk with my kids again tonight. Last night after dinner I walked around the entire neighborhood (about 3/4 of a mile), while the kids rode their bikes. I definitely slowed them down, and they definitely let me know it, but I'm hoping I may be able to pick up the pace some tonight. Perhaps even jog for a few houses or so.

So when I'm whining about the pain tomorrow, you'll know why.

2 weeks post-op

Wow, I'm at the two week mark post-op mark today. And while I'd like to say "I'm back to normal!", that would be far from true. I am working on understanding and accepting what the "new normal" will be, and having a hard time coping with some things I have lost.

you can barely notice the scar
in the front of my ear

Mainly, sleeping on my right side. Oh how I loved to curl up in the fetal position and snuggle with my pillow. Yes, I can still do that on my left side, but my body likes to switch while asleep, and now I find myself waking up in shooting pain whenever I even begin to lean towards the right.

There will always be nerve damage on the right side of my face and neck, always. And while the swelling and bruising is mainly a thing of the past, the tingling and numbness (although "numb" doesn't really describe the feeling) is still very much there. That is frustrating to me, because even after previous surgeries on my body (left knee), I never experienced nerve damage or shooting pains whenever the area was touched.

Great big, giant, arms-outstretched hugs from my kids - that's another of my hardest losses to accept. I loved when they would wrap their little arms around my neck, and hold tight so I could sweep them off their feet and hug them with all my might. Hugs nowadays have turned into little hugs on the left side of my neck and shoulder. It's not a real hug, in any sense of the word, and it breaks my heart.

Both kids have done great remembering which side is my "good side" and which is the one to avoid. Every now and again Colin will come running at me, stop right in front of my face, and peak over both of my shoulders to make sure he's safe, before giving me a little hug. Oh how I long for those great, big, bear hugs!

and hopefully one day you won't be
able to notice the back part either

As for the incision itself, I spoke with the doctors nurse this morning (who spoke with the doctor prior to calling me), and she recommended I snip off whatever I could from the stitch that's sticking out. The doctor said he definitely cut the ends internally yesterday, but that it may just be very tight from my pulling on the remaining piece of stitch, so I should massage around the area for a while. Gentle massage. Well, I did that for about an hour today, and can still feel the little bit of plastic stitch protruding from the top of the incision.

Apparently these stitches dissolve over time, but just how much "time" it takes is beyond me. Could be days, weeks, months or even years. Everyone's body is different. And seeing how well my body adjusted to the medicines, I'm not holding out any positive hope that it can process and destroy this stitch. Not to mention it feels like I gave myself an awful face lift around my ear. I pulled that stitch way too tight last night with the tweezers, and all the massaging in the world this morning didn't manage to loosen it up one bit.

I also found out about the bruised area next to my right eye (see picture at the top). All this time I had been thinking something must have fallen on my face during the surgery, but it turns out he had to make a small incision there for the nerve monitor. It looks like it's all healing fine, but there's still a brownish bruise near my eye, and it's hard for me to apply eye make-up on that eye.

I'm scheduled to go back in four months for another MRI and visit with the doctor. Then four months after that, and four months after that. At that point, if the tumor has not reappeared, I'll be seen on a yearly basis. He feels the chance of recurrence is less than 20%. Unfortunately he was not able to create a positive margin of normal gland all the way around the tumor, as some of it was pressed up against the nerve. Therefor, there's a risk the tumor may have 'feelers' still out there, and could eventually come back to life.

Final diagnosis on the biopsy, which includes the right superficial parotid gland, with inferior deep lobe tumor (measuring 2.6cm by 3.2cm by 1.3cm):

• Pleomorphic adenoma (benign mixed tumor)
• 1.5cm abutting the posterior resection margin, <0.1cm from the superior resection margin, abutting the medial resection margin, and abutting the anterior resection margin.
• Six lymph nodes, no tumor seen.
• The specimen reveals a white-tan, gelatinous, well-circumscribed nodule at the medial aspect of the specimen measuring 1.5cm by 1.0cm by 0.7cm.

closer view of the back - I think it's cut on angles to blend in with the ridges in my skin

All in all, I'm free to do as I wish, except swim for a few weeks. The incision must completely heal before I can go in a pool, or under water, again. And while I've been given the green-light to drive, I have to limit myself. I'm unable to rotate my neck, or make any sudden movements, so I'm going to abstain from driving for a bit longer. I will first venture out on my own somewhere local, but only when I'm 100% comfortable will I bring the kids in the car with me.

As for getting back to the gym... well, as much as I'd love it, I've got to let the incision heal some more. I cannot lift a laundry basket full of laundry, so until that happens I won't be lifting any weights. And since a 6 step jog from the car to the front door yesterday put me in pain, there will be no major cardio workouts just yet.

Slow and steady... slow and steady...

Stitches out...almost

Spent over 3 hours waiting to be seen for my appointment today, so this did not start off on a good note. Got the stitches removed, only to come home tonight and find a piece of stitch, looks like fishing line, sticking out in front of my ear. I actually thought it was a piece of scab, so I wiped it with my finger. But then I realized it was plastic and hard. I got out the tweezers, and hoped it was just a loose string I could easily pull out.

Nope.

Not a chance.

The line is still attached to the base of my ear, on the inside. That "little" pull of the tweezers tightened up everything, and now it hurts like hell.

And that's not even the worst part. The worst is yet to come. I now get to spend all day tomorrow going back down to Philly, sitting in a room waiting to catch the doctor in between surgeries. And then I have to pray he doesn't have to re-open the incision to find the other end of the stitch.

Not a happy camper right now.

And then there was none

The last time I took anything for pain was Friday night. I survived all of yesterday without drugs.

Zero.

Zilch.

Nada.

The pain was mostly around a 1, but went up to a 2 at a few different times during the day.

Once when I was yelling my head off at the kids for riding their bikes into the street (and narrowly getting hit by moving vehicles).

Another time was when I indulged in some of my husband's delicious chili, which I just couldn't eat without salty, crunchy, rice chips.

And one other time was when I brought a bowl of cereal up to bed (I know, bad habit, but it was Cheerios), and I accidentally grabbed one of the tablespoon sized spoons. I hadn't realized it until I was snuggled up in bed, and I was too lazy to walk back downstairs to get a smaller spoon. Opening my mouth that far is still a tad bit painful.

Dwindling down

I managed to survive all day yesterday with no pain pills, but I did take one extra strength Tylenol right before bed, just for fear of waking up in dire pain.

Today's goal - zero pain pills.

Drugs are a mysterious thing. They do wonders to help your body heal, yet they disguise the symptoms in such a way that could easily cause more damage. While the more powerful , prescription pain medication managed to hide the excruciating pain from my surgery, it had awful side effects. And the regular, over-the-counter medicine still allowed me to feel the pain, but had minimal side effects. There's always a catch.

Thankfully I've been able to survive just fine with the regular meds, even though I'd much rather mask any pain and uncomfortableness (is that a word?). You see, I'm a big wuss, and I'm ordinarily quick to run to the medicine closet whenever something bothers me. I've always been a big supporter of the pharmaceutical industry, and yet, for some reason, I've found myself taking a break this week.

This time it's different. I've got to make myself, force myself even, to slow down and allow my body time to heal. I need to be reminded that I just had surgery 11 days ago. I need to feel the pain in my neck, so I don't overexert myself. I need to relax and put my feet up... for a short while. I need to let the muscles recover. And I need to remember that it's okay to ask for help.

Easier said than done, my friends.

10 days post-op

Finally feeling a bit more like my old self again at this 10 day mark. Yesterday the pain was about a 1, with some random streaks up to about a 3 when I'd move a certain way. I took 1 extra-strength Tylenol when I woke up, along with my bp medicine (Florinef), and 1 at dinner, along with the bp meds again. That's it. Just two pain pills to get through the entire day/night. This morning I haven't taken anything for pain. And my plan is to get through the entire day with nothing, but will most likely take one before bed. And if that works, tomorrow I may be off the pain meds entirely. Seems like I may be getting somewhere....

On Wednesday I removed one of the steri-strips - the horizontal one that ran under my ear. Although it was already beginning to come off on one end, it was pretty snug the rest of the way, so I had to pull it off. Not a good thing - for the incision or the pain involved. And I'm not even sure why I did that, other than I thought it would have come off easier. After that shooting pain, I decided to keep the others on until (1) they fall off on their own, or (2) I go back to the doctor. I've got a follow-up appointment scheduled for this coming Monday, and will have the stitches removed at that time too.

Each day I feel stronger and stronger, and yesterday I managed to walk around a few blocks in our neighborhood with my daughter. It felt great to get outside and enjoy the fresh fall air, but I definitely felt sore when we returned home. However, it wasn't sore in the sense of the surgery, just sore in the sense that I have barely stepped out of the house in the past 10 days. My body ached, and my back could seriously use an adjustment after all this side sleeping/laying.

Last evening I kicked a ball back and forth with my son for about 20 minutes, and again, it felt great to be outside and playing with my kids again. I couldn't move too fast, but I was able to keep up with him. And by the time we went to bed, I was surprised my body wasn't crippled.

While I am unable to fill the coffeemaker with water, I can now pour my own cup of coffee. I may not be able to lift a pot full of water to the stove, but I can at least pull an empty pot from the cabinets and set it in the sink for Tim to fill. And I cannot lift the wet clothes from the washer to the dryer, but I can empty the dryer and fold the clean laundry. Glad I've got my husband around to help with all of these things - teamwork is a great thing. I'm also very thankful for the quick healing (if you could call this quick), because I miss my old life tremendously.

The problem that I am certain to have for months, if not years, is all the nerve damage in and around the incision. It will most likely forever tingle; not quite numb, but not quite normal. But maybe someday I'll get used to it. And hopefully soon it will heal enough so I can get back to the gym and back into my old routine. Or perhaps it will be time to start a new routine...

Slow and steady wins the race. Or so my brother-in-law reminds me.

1 week post-op

Today marks one week since the tumor was removed, and I am so thankful this week is now behind me. To say it was tough would be an understatement. It was hell for me, and I'm sure those around me felt the same as I laid around and did absolutely nothing but grouch and grumble in pain.

I posted a 1 week photo here. You can see the bruising down my neck still.


Pain Management:

• I'm currently taking 1 extra strength Tylenol every 4-5 hours during the day, and 2 at night before I go to sleep. 
• I also take 1 4mg Zofran every 8 hours to help with the nausea I'm still experiencing.
• And I am back on my blood pressure medicine, so I take 0.1mg Florinef 2x/day. Once this kicks back in, I'm hoping the nausea and dizziness goes away. I'm thinking once the heavier drugs were out of my system, my super low blood pressure (90/60) was keeping this nauseous feeling around.

 Pain:

• The lower part of my right ear is still numb, and it tingles in pain if I roll onto it or lean into it.
• My neck is still tight, bruised, and sadly I look like a beaten housewife.
• Most of the right side of my face hurts to the touch, and there's a spot near my right eyebrow that sends shooting pain when touched. I notice this mostly when I'm washing my face, or standing in the shower - the water falling on it really causes me to wince.
• The itching around the incision isn't as bad as it was the other day. However, the steri-strips are still intact, and are starting to curl. When I gently pulled on one, it hurt like a you-know-what, so on they remain, disgusting as all get out.
• My jaw still hurts, and the pain radiates across my entire jaw now, but mostly when I am resting on my side. I've been trying to sleep on my back more, but the snoring will likely drive Tim to the couch.
• I started using my Sonicare toothbrush two nights ago, as I was too lazy to go back downstairs to get the regular one. The pain is ever-so-light, so I bear with it.
• I will surely need to visit the chiropractor in a few weeks, as all this side-laying has done a number on my back.

Life:

• I slept in my own bed last night, and it felt great.
• I'm eating semi-soft foods now, and I've never craved buffalo chicken dip so badly. My diet consists of mainly soft pasta, oatmeal, breakfast bars, goldfish and yogurt. But unfortunately that doesn't cut it for the rest of my family, so they've had to fend for themselves now that all the generous food offers have been gobbled up.
• I am unable to turn my neck to the right very much, but am able to twist a little more to the left (almost to my shoulder). And I can ever-so-slightly nod my head up and down. The muscles are all still tight, but I can feel them stretching more each day.

Little by little... step by step... I will get back to my old self!